Thanks Andrea for posting the article by Rachel Naomi Remen. I hope you'll get a chance to read her book because it is wonderful. I especially love when she talks about the difference between "helping" and "serving" in the book, as well as in the article you posted. This book has helped me so much in dealing with the obstacles in life that sometimes slow me down! I am now reading her other book called "Kitchen Table Wisdom" and I'm learning so much. This is a great book to have in your purse/backpack and be able to pull it out while waiting at the doctor's office or whenever you have small snatches of time. I always read one short chapter and then have hours of things to think about!
I hope those of you that read "My Grandfather's Blessing" will take a second to post something on the Bookworm Blog about just one thing that touched your heart in this book!
7 comments:
I have loved so many things about this book, Gaye. I think you are right when you say you can read one short chapter and have something to think about all day. I've been telling Chad story after story from this book and it's provided us with lots of thought-provoking conversation.
You asked me to think of just ONE thing that touched my heart? (what a challenge!) Can I cheat? I'll share a few...
I loved the story of the little boy who liked to play with his two matchbox cars. Rachel tells of watching his adoration for these small things and aching to give him MORE. She and her colleagues collected several cars during a gas station give-away and she presented her gift. Instead of being overjoyed, the boy was overwhelmed. Upon asking why he didn't like his cars anymore, the boy simply said, "I don't know how to love so many cars." Dr. Remen then went on to talk of a cancer patient who owned so many things and knew so many people, but amid her treatment learned to appreciate one small thing: her soft, clean, comfortable robe. She went on to sell many of her possessions and cling to only those who really meant something to her. This woman found much more joy in loving a few than having a lot. What a great reminder!
Then, I have to admit, the other story that has stuck in my mind was of the self-conscience young woman who had to have a mastectomy. I'm not going to tell you the story ...you'll have to read it for yourself (It is in the first section, in the chapter called "Getting Real.") I just love how this woman overcomes her feelings of inadequacy because of LOVE.
I have to admit, I'm not finished reading it yet. I'm still in the second section about "becoming a blessing." I can't read this book at my usual fast pace because it is too thought-provoking, but I'm enjoying it and will definitely finish it up. I really enjoyed the Rabbi's sermon about forgiveness, given while he held his baby daughter in his arms...you gotta read that one, too! ("All in the Family")
Thanks, Gaye, for this great book. I have a friend in Kentucky whose husband just got diagnosed with lung cancer and another friend currently spending her days at Primary Children's Hospital with her 18-month-old son who has brain cancer. I've been thinking more and more of these dear women as I've been reading this book. Death and illness definitely touch us all, but it is great to read about the positives, the silver lining, that come out of this suffering.
I haven’t finished this book either, I feel like if I read too much of it at a time I won’t be able to fully appreciate its lessons. I have read little bits throughout the month and it has given me a lot to think about.
I really liked reading about the author’s experiences helping those who are facing cancer. She says that she has “seen so many people emerge from their encounter with great loss more effortlessly compassionate and altruistic than before.”
I think we have all wondered before why we or others have been given certain challenges or trials. I think it is true that these challenges make us more able to serve others and be compassionate to others who are suffering.
Thanks for your posts! It makes me more excited to read the book. I am still 6th in line at my library for getting ahold of it. I'll definitely stick it out now.
I just finished this book (only 1 day late!) and loved it. I thought it was so interesting that in the Epilogue Dr. Remen refers to the story of the Jaredites in the Book of Mormon. Did anyone else find that surprising? Not that it doesn't fit, but just that she knows a little bit about nearly every school of thought: she referred to many religious and meditative practices throughout this book.
The book, as a whole, had so many great lessons. And, as much as Dr. Remen has tried to pass them on to us, it is often hard to really learn lessons that aren't our own. My friend whose little boy has cancer (I referred to her in my last post on this book) told me one day when I was visiting her at the hospital that before her son's illness was diagnosed she had told a woman in her ward that she admired her faith. This woman had recently been through a tragedy of her own and Heidi admired how she'd pulled through and grown stronger. She had said to this woman, "I want faith like you have." Not long after, her son's cancer was discovered and she told me that as awful as this experience is, it is building her faith. I hope I can gain understanding, faith, hope, and better living through the experiences of others, but know that often we are taught "on the job" and the experience is what brings learning. Nevertheless, I have been uplifted by this book and the many stories shared in it. Thanks for choosing it, Gaye!
Gaye, this book was a great recommendation. I am only part way through as well, but decided to comment now and then continue reading to the end.
I love the format of the book. It all goes together, but each chapter is its own little story. There are so many different thoughts and lessons contained in the experiences of the author. It is interesting how different stories touch different people.
The first chapter that really touched me was called “Having What You Have.” It was the story about Dr. Remen’s mother who had a dresser drawer full of fancy silk stockings still in their packaging that she was saving for a “special time.” Then one day, the apartment was broken into and among the stolen items were all her silk stockings. Dr. Remen says this was her first lesson about loss. She said that after this experience, she began “to use everything I owned.” She adds, “…all we get to keep are our memories. Perhaps the only way we get to keep anything may be to use it up.”
I could relate to this idea of needlessly “saving,” maybe not actual items, but experiences. I am perpetually making lists in my head and on paper of things I will do at some future date: Family traditions I want to start, fun projects to do with my kids, new dinner recipes to try, cute anecdotes I want to write in the kids’ journals, etc. In the process, I often lose the thing I meant to “save,” or forget the details of my thought process that I wanted to record. I am trying harder to live in the NOW when I catch myself thinking, “I should do that sometime.” The only things worth saving for later are the memories! They don’t take up any space in my kitchen junk drawer!
I also liked a part at the beginning of section II. The author is relating the concept of the “Buddha seed” within each of us and using the analogy of an acorn and it’s potential. She says, “Our essential humanity is defined by…the capacity to grow in wisdom…. None of us are only the way we seem.” I try to remember this in my constant effort to be non-judgmental. There is so much more to every person in the world than we can see on the surface! Each individual has potential even beyond what they might know.
Thanks for a thought-provoking book!
Thanks for your posts on this book. I hope you'll have a chance to pick up her "Kitchen Table Wisdom" book. I just finished reading it, and it is just as inspiring and thought-provoking, ESPECIALLY the chapter on the pursuit of PERFECTION. WOW!!....a must-read, specifically for Type A personalities!
I had a hard time starting this book, but once I got into it I couldn't put it down. I hope I didn't read it too fast, because each chapter gave me so much to think about! I loved the stories that Adri and Kami mentioned--they are unforgettable.
As I read, I kept thinking about the different doctors that have served me and tried to fix me. Some doctors truly listen to me with compassion while others leave me feeling dismissed, high maintenance, and worthless. The OBGYN that delivered my second son was a true model of service and helped me both physically and emotionally. I will always be grateful for the way he listened to my concerns and helped me conquer my fear of childbirth after a traumatic c-section. As I read "My Grandfather's Blessings" I thought of my doctor over and over again and was grateful that there are some physicians who are concerned with healing the mind, body, and soul. I hope I can learn to serve the people I encounter in such a positive way.
Thanks Gaye!
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