Hello Fellow Bookworms,
Sorry for the lateness in getting this post up for discussion. I hope some of you were able to read or are reading this book. So what did you think? I thought I would start with some simple questions and then add a couple ideas from the book group discussions from the back. Please feel free to comment on anything you like, not just the questions posed here.
1. What was your initial reaction when starting this book?
2. While reading, how did you perceive others and yourself?
3. After reading this book, how did your perceptions of others and yourself change?
4. If you did the reconsideration exercise in chapter 8, would you be willing to share your insights?
5. Share your insights from reflection on any key points from the book.
6. How will your interactions with others be different now? (maybe more of a rhetorical question)
This book has provided me a lot of reflection and consideration in my life. There were parts of it that were a little hard to swallow at first, but I loved the ideas presented to help me look at relations in all aspects of my life. One thing that I have considered or have been reminded of while reading Bonds That Make Us Free is the that there is always more than my perspective in a situation. It is easy to make ourselves the victim when in actuality we are only a victim if we make or allow our self to be. This is hard not to do sometimes. If you have mastered this, you are an amazing person.
I have loved the specific stories presented to allow for personal connection. I have related to them and reflected on how I might react in certain situations. I do hope that I will be able to be more aware and thoughtful of my interactions with others before I act, judge, respond, talk, or give up. I am only human though, and will undoubtedly struggle at times. All I can do is keep trying to be better as I build relationships at work, home, church, etc. Did you have similar reactions or am I just in a huge learning curve in my life?
Another aspect of this book that I really appreciated was the truths that were presented in a non religious format. Don't get me wrong. I love religious books and conversations, but something about the way this was presented put this on a universal level that I felt allowed me to be able to share with others no matter their perspective. What were your feelings about reading such a book? Would you share with others?
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3 comments:
I love this book! The principles taught are so universal and based on truth---it is, in my opinion, the only self-help book anyone would ever need. Has anyone read "Leadership and Self Deception" or "The Anatomy of Peace" by the Arbinger Institute? If you had trouble getting through this book, I suggest you check into these two, as they present the same concepts but in more of a 'story' form that is quicker to read.
I think my favorite part of the book (because it was so eye-opening to me, personally), was the discussion about counterfeit emotions; how we can 'do' the right thing, but if our heart isn't in it then it is simply a counterfeit. And, most people can see through it, too.
There is definitely much that I need to practice and grow into, but I'm grateful to have read this book and appreciate the ways it has opened my eyes. I recommend it to everyone!
I too LOVE this book! And I agree with Adri that it's the only self-help book anyone would ever need. Like you Monica Sue, I also liked that the principles outlined in this book were presented in a non religious format. Because the things that are taught are simple truths it is easier to discuss. You don't have to sift through religious doctrines that others might not understand.
I thought that I'd answer question #1. I have to admit that for about the first 6 or 7 chapters I wasn't too into it. I felt like most of it didn't apply to me. I thought the ideas interesting and even started thinking about people I knew that REALLY needed to read this book besides me. However, I think it was at about chapter eight that I realized the only person who needed to be reading the book was ME. I slowly felt my heart, and attitude change, and I started "listening" to the message more intently.
Like Adri, I think the concept that really hit home for me was the idea of counterfeit emotions. There are very few things I have begun to realize that are NOT counterfeit in my life, so I've got a lot of work to do in this area. I have also come to have a better understanding of forgiveness and how it first starts with ME. This is not to say that I take offenses lying down, but the anger and bitterness that tends to accumulate over time with regards to wrongs done, can become debilitating. The importance of stepping "out of the box" and being the first to forgive, without counterfeit emotions, is HARD, but something that I am definitely going to work on in my life. Wow, what a wake-up call!
Thank you, thank you for introducing me to such an awesome book!!
I only read about half the book before I had to return it to the library-I am still waiting for my turn again. My sister-in-law recently paid a lot of money for counseling and Impact training. As I read the book it was interesting to compare what she had told me to what I was reading-she could have saved a lot of money!! There was a lot that was for me. I think it is common to read or hear something and thing "so and so really needs to hear this. It was a good reminder to step back and see things in a new light. I really started the book hoping to strengthen my relationships that are not that great. I think it's fair to say we all have in-laws or siblings we wouldn't choose to have relationships with if we weren't related. These were the relationships I was hoping to make better. The counterfeit emotions really hit home-that is really the place to start. Like Nicole said-I have a lot of work to do! Thanks for such a thought provoking book!
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